Thank you Aqua Teen for proving to America that there IS in fact a culture gap in 2007, even though shows like Parental Control are trying their hardest to bridge that shit. If Nelson from The Simpsons heard the news about what happened in Boston today, he'd surely give a giant "HAH-HAH!!" to all the olds. Hey old people! Go listen to your fucking Black Eyed Peas records and go watch your precious fucking Dancing With The Stars and pretend you know how to be hip in 2007. Because you don't. HAH-HAH!!
Also, I know it goes without saying, but the fact that someone was actually arrested for this is disturbingly absurd.
I really love to hate Britney Spears. Until she got knocked up last year, she remained the one star who more than anyone else achieved her status by being sneaky and manipulative and lying to the public about pretty much every last aspect of her personal life, so that the gossip and controversy would ignite the tabloid press and ultimately give her album sales a massive push. She created her own storm by never telling the full-on truth. The Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Madonna all ended up in the press for their own controversies, except theirs were not based on manipulation. These artists were all, for the most part, honest to the public during their heyday. Was it really that big of a deal for Britney to tell the world she was dating Just Timb? When Madonna was dating Sean Penn, she was like �yeah, I�m dating Sean Penn.� And that was the end of it. Some call Britney�s tactic a genius scam. I call it an unfair and cruel way to abuse music fans. 
#2 I am disturbed by the growing emphasis on dramatic elements in today�s alt-rock. I�m not sure what high school these dudes recently graduated from, but as far as I know, the intersection of goth kids and drama kids is not a common occurrence. You can�t just throw theatrics and dance routines into your stage performance without considering how to lessen the doucheiness. The Rocky Horror Picture Show does NOT need a revival. Tool does this the right way, because they significantly darkened their theatrics. Ziggy Stardust and Freddie Mercury did it the right way, because they were both geniuses with the ability to crank up the gayness to 11 and still have it seem insanely cool. P! At The D is entitled to put on whatever kind of show they want, but it doesn�t deserve the high marks it receives. 
#4 Their music is really not as exciting as everyone is making it out to be. I�m not sure how people consider their songs catchy. They currently have four tracks in rotation on Sirius 21 so that they can be played hourly without it seeming too repetitive. Out of those four songs, there is currently only one whose melody line I can recall. I would give the song�s title now, but I can�t remember what it�s called because they have the worst song titles ever. I would write out a line of the song�s lyric, but none of their lyrics are memorable. If I�m not mistaken, the word "exactly" is used a few times in the chorus, and there�s some gay little part towards the end where the words "in this place" show up without any instruments under it. Their supposed "catchiness" is probably the most overrated aspect about them. 
You may not have known this, but Dragonforce is actually Journey. No, seriously. They are the exact same band, except Dragonforce�s drummer plays those droning unemotional deathmetal drums all the time. That�s really the only difference. I�m actually kind of angry that deathmetal drums became trendy this year, especially since now it seems that zero kids are training to be jazz drummers, which usually sounds much nicer and has become completely underrated. Dragonforce�s songwriting is fucking inane and reeks of 2006. That is to say, it doesn�t hold up with repeated listens, it doesn�t sound authentic, and it has really lame over-the-top melodies that want very badly to sound like hair-metal. I don�t even get a sense of novelty or irony out of it. These gentlemen are VERY serious about their horribly shitty music. They are probably the worst metal band in the world right now, and I consider this and probably most other music in whatever metal subgenre it falls to be utterly unlistenable. (Oh yeah, I think the subgenre is "power-metal." Gay.) 
Like Bjork, she is a Keebler Elf, which I�m sort of into. But eventually, she will start singing. I can really only take her singing in small doses, which is difficult when your album only has 5 tracks and none of them are shorter than 7 minutes... And none of the songs have any discernable chorus or refrain... And in the end, it turns out to be another one of those poetry-to-music records. In due time, I�d be willing to bet this album is not particularly rewarding. God I hate lyrics. Enough with lyrics already. Lyrics are beyond overrated in 2006. Melody is dead. What is wrong with you people?? 
And yet, that hasn�t stopped half the girls in the country from switching their ringtones to the annoying-girl-anthem of the year, "Irreplaceable." On a personal note, songs that get stuck in my head as often as "Irreplaceable" are not usually this bad, so that was a rare case for me. 
Whatever happened to the new college-rock explosion that was supposed to happen in 2006? The success of Franz and Modest Mouse was apparently not enough to prove to the PR dudes that alt-rock is still - for better or worse - a profitable commodity. By the end of 2006, this brief mid-decade alt-rock wave sadly became a joke, since it didn�t make any lasting impact. The Killers turned out to be the one band who survived this mini-wave, avoiding the 2-Hit-Wonder tag partially due to their recently realized lack of magazine-cover-awkwardness, fitting in alongside the likes of MCR, P!ATD and FOB. Somewhere around their 3rd SPIN cover, it struck many music fans that The Killers have lost a serious amount of cred on their way to stardom. It also doesn�t help that most of The Killers� best known songs are "growers".* This made it even easier for haters to dismiss Sam�s Town upon its release. Granted, these singles are not as classic as their first 2, but at least they�re better than the abysmal "All These Things That I�ve Done." 
Within a six-week-span early in 2006, Jenny Lewis, Neko Case and Cat Power all released reverb-laden Dusty Springfield-inspired albums. All three records were widely heralded in 2006, though only Neko Case�s was anything truly noteworthy. (I personally find The Greatest to be Cat Power�s least interesting record to date, preferring the quiet and complex isolation of Moon Pix or The Covers Record.) As for Jenny Lewis, a lot of the songwriting on her Rabbit Fur Coat LP tends to borrow its sound from either Elvis Costello�s ballads or various alt-country affiliates. "Rise Up With Fists!" mixes a little of both, and stands as a better song than anything she has recorded with Rilo Kiley as well as her best solo track, with its pleasant arrangement and Jenny�s effortlessly delicate vocals. (I usually don�t like songs that sound like this, so that�s why it�s embarrassing.) I suppose my one complaint regarding this song lies in the awkwardly placed refrain of "There but for the grace of God go I," but after a few listens, it becomes less distracting. Also, the video (guest starring Sarah Silverman) was too strange for this type of song. 
An even better paranthetical title would have been "MTV Raps." I joke because that�s what this song is. It�s a joke. Jamie Foxx could have sung this song on In Living Color dressed up as his Wanda character and even though that sketch would make no sense, it would still be considered the greatest sketch ever. So yeah, this song is funny. But more obviously and more importantly, this song sounds how R&B ballads are supposed to sound, without any bad attempts at Timbaland-wannabe minimalism or unnecessary quirkiness to attract listeners. I feel like this is a nice, innocent track for the kids. Ain�t nothin� wrong with that. 
outrageous opinionated statements that usually end up being true. Here�s an example: "At their best, Limp Bizkit was a better band than FOB ever was." (Okay, I�m reading it over... and... Yeah, that�s true. Wow, imagine that. There�s a band that actually makes me long for Fred Durst�s finer moments.) That fag bassist with the teeth, Pete Whatshisname, is a very confusing rockstar, and I find it bizarre that the singer for this band was not chosen to be the focal point, another aspect that suggests insincerity. So all of this explains why "Dance Dance" is my guiltiest pleasure of 2006... because I hate them, and because they somehow managed to produce a near-perfect pop-punk song. And because it�s so shockingly good, it becomes their most Satanic accomplishment. Its video tried so very hard to suggest both fun and rebellion in the same breath, but instead it ended up being anti-fun, tedious, ugly, difficult, and anything but rebellious. It�s a remarkably shitty video, so bad in fact that it distracted more than a few MTV viewers from understanding anything positive about the song it�s promoting.